Over the years, the old man said lots of interesting things like:

On the gullibility of mankind in general:

"You can't bull-shit me - I've been bull-shitted by experts."
Nuff said!

"If pigs could fly - we'd all carry umbrellas."
You have to think about this one!

His advice when dealing with the fairer sex:

"Keep them barefoot in the winter and pregnant in the summer."
He was not a nineties kind of guy.

"Women is like buses - if you miss one, there's another one along any minute."
He talked a good fight - he was married to my Mother til the day she died. Also, he was not always strong on subject-verb agreement!

On money matters:

"I don't want to be a millionaire, I just want to live like one!"
There's a lot of truth in this!
"You're not really a success until you owe a million dollars.!"
Needless to say, by his own standards, he was never very successful in business.

On health matters:

"I'm not fat - I've just got weak stomach muscles."
Honest - he couldn't really tell the difference!
"I think I'm dying - I've got stomach cancer."
That was 30 years ago - he should be in a medical journal somewhere!